The following is a list of accidental errors in church bulletins that are quite hilarious. Enjoy!
Don't let worry kill you - let the church help.
Thursday night - Potluck supper. Prayer and medication to follow.
For those of you who have children and don't know it, we have a nursery downstairs.
This afternoon there will be a meeting in the South and North ends of the church. Children will be baptized at both ends.
This being Easter Sunday, we will ask Mrs. Lewis to come forward and lay an egg on the altar.
Next
Sunday a special collection will be taken to defray the cost of the new
carpet. All those wishing to do something on the new carpet will come
forward and do so.
A bean supper will be held on Tuesday evening in the church hall. Music will follow.
At the evening service tonight, the sermon topic will be "What is hell?" Come early and listen to our choir practice.
The Scouts are saving aluminum cans, bottles, and other items to be recycled. Proceeds will be used to cripple children.
Ladies
Bible Study will be held Thursday morning at 10. All ladies are invited
to lunch in the Fellowship Hall after the B.S. is done.
Low Self Esteem Support Group will meet Thursday at 7 p.m. Please use the back door.
The pastor will preach his farewell message, after which the choir will sing, "Break Forth Into Joy."
A songfest was hell at the Methodist church Wednesday.
The
eighth graders will be presenting Shakespeare's Hamlet in the Church
basement Friday at 7 p.m. The Congregation is invited to attend this
tragedy.
Weight Watchers will meet at 7 PM at the First Presbyterian Church. Please use large double door at the side entrance.
Eight
new choir robes are currently needed, due to the addition of several
new members and to the deterioration of some older ones.
The senior choir invites any member of the congregation who enjoys sinning to join the choir.
Evening massage - 6 p.m.
The audience is asked to remain seated until the end of the recession.
Ushers will eat latecomers.
The third verse of Blessed Assurance will be sung without musical accomplishment.
The Rev. Merriwether spoke briefly, much to the delight of the audience.
22
members were present at the church meeting held at the home of Mrs.
Marsha Crutchfield last evening. Mrs. Crutchfield and Mrs. Rankin sang
a duet, The Lord Knows Why.
Pastor is on vacation. Massages can be given to church secretary.
Bertha
Belch, a missionary from Africa will be speaking tonight at Calvary
Memorial Church in Racine. Come tonight and hear Bertha Belch all the
way from Africa.
Ladies, don't forget the rummage sale. It's a
chance to get rid of those things not worth keeping around the house.
Don't forget your husbands.
The peacemaking meeting scheduled for today has been canceled due to a conflict.
Next Thursday there will be tryouts for the choir. They need all the help they can get.
Barbara
remains in the hospital and needs blood donors for more transfusions.
She is also having trouble sleeping and requests tapes of Pastor Jack's
sermons.
The cost for attending the Fasting and Prayer conference includes meals.
This evening at 7 P.M. there will be a hymn sing in the park across from the Church. Bring a blanket and come prepared to sin.
These and more can be found at http://www.jnweb.com/funny/church-notices.html.
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