I am a loser. Last time I was reasonably dominant in any athletic activity, I was in fifth grade, playing soccer against third graders. I haven’t won in an arm-wrestling match against anyone playing seriously in about five years—and that includes losing to a couple individuals who have allowed me to use two arms against their one. Once upon a time, I managed to accrue a winless record (0-11) in a girl’s tennis league, which is rather embarrassing considering that I’m a guy.

I am a loser—but I’m fine with that.

Our society rightly lauds athletic competition as a means of teaching the pursuit of goals, developing a strong work ethic, and emphasizing teamwork. Unfortunately, the focus on these qualities too often overshadows the importance of losing.

When I was in first grade, I first experienced that fleeting sensation known as “victory” when my soccer team won our very first game. Like any other triumphant champion, I jumped in the air, pumped my fist, and celebrated rambunctiously along with my team.

However, shortly afterwards I found myself on the losing side of a game and experienced the dejection of defeat. Ever since then, when I have savored the jubilation of winning, that sensation has been significantly mollified by my cognizance of the disappointment felt by my opponents. Winning has become the ironic burden caused by the guilt of setting someone else back.

Whenever someone wins, someone else loses. In most settings, there is only one winning person or team, but many losing parties. While sports commendably focuses on accomplishing goals, learning how to react and respond when we fall short is of equal importance. For those who achieve a victory, there needs to be an understanding that success is not everlasting and frequently comes at the expense of another person’s dream.

Nowadays, when the news decries the problems of cheating and performance-enhancing drugs permeating sports on all levels, I cannot help but notice a pervasive infatuation with winning which has flown under the radar. Those who have offered an explanation of what motivated them to cheat have cited their fear of performing poorly, letting down their teams, and, in some cases, losing their careers. They were unable to accept the prospect of defeat or denial and instead sought an unfair advantage. However, in a reciprocal fashion, their selfish actions ultimately cost someone else an opportunity to win or establish a career.

Should we embrace mediocrity? Hardly. It is important that we strive for excellence and the pursuit of goals. Yet, there has to be an acknowledgement on all levels that losing is not something to dreaded and avoided at all costs. When our best is not enough, we have to accept our shortcomings, approach it as an opportunity for improvement, and realize that this is someone else’s opportunity to shine.

Sports should be about integrity and growth. Sometimes growth takes place by winning. Sometimes growth is catalyzed by losing.