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In a shocking disturbance, Features Editor Sarah Hayes has mysteriously disappeared from the face of the earth, and the entire staff of The Cracked Pot has been left in the lurch. 

 

“We have no idea what happened,” says Senior Editor Tiffany Yonts.  “We just stopped getting e-mails from her.  It’s been five whole days, and not a word.”

 

Some have suggested that Hayes could merely be having technical difficulties with her e-mail service, but Yonts dismisses this idea as “ridiculous.”

 

“Personally, I suspect aliens,” she said.

 

In the absence of Hayes, former presidential candidate Al Gore has been assigned as Temporary Section Editor.  Although he wasn’t the e-zine’s first choice, Yonts says that he’ll do for the time being.

 

“We really wanted to get Taylor Hicks, since he and Sarah both like to sing, but he was unavailable.”

 

Although confident that Gore will prove to be a competent editor, the Editorial Board of Directors has imposed some unusual restrictions.  His contract specifies that he use the phrase “global-warming” no more than seven times in any given article.

 

Gore himself was unavailable for comment, but his representative, Joe Shmoe, called the contract restrictions “preposterous” and said that Gore’s lawyers will work “very hard” to fight them.  However, Gore will remain with the e-zine for the time being, as he’s “always dreamed” of being a Features Editor.

 

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