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February, the month of cold. Ah, how lovely. And, no, I don't mean "brr" cold (although that happens in February, too). I mean "cough-hack" cold. It seems as if everyone that I know is laid up with a cold—myself included. Most of the time, it's that nasty cold that starts out as a sore throat and decides that it doesn't like being a sore throat, but would rather branch out and buys itself a mountain home in your nose. 

Once it sets up residence in your nose, the cold has offspring, and, drat them, they decide that they need a third house to hold all of the family. Now, depending on the cold, they'll either buy another high-altitude house and settle in your ears and become the cold known as your common head-cold, or they'll decide that they like the warmer and more spacious climate of your lungs and give you a rousing, hacking cough. (Excuse me while I damage my esophagus.)

Now, having a cold is nice because you can have the excuse to sit around and write essays about them, and have tea brought to you, and you might even get out of watching the baby for fear that you might give the baby your cold. But, alas, what special holiday is February also know for? Yes, that's right. Valentine's Day. If you have no special someone, then you don't need to worry about what I'm going to say next and can tune me out.

If you do have a "significant other," you'll know that what I'm about to say is pretty much true. What is Valentine's Day known for? Chocolate and flowers and cuddling with your significant other, right? Well, those are three strikes for people with colds. Yes, you can eat chocolate while you have a cold, but it tends to make the sore throat just a little bit sorer. Flowers have pollen in them. Girls like to smell flowers. When girls have stuffy noses, or the converse, runny noses, this is not the best idea. If a guy gets a bouquet of flowers for his girl, and she has a cold, then he had better bring a box of Kleenex, as well. The cuddling part also presents a problem. Who wants their significant other to get a cold? And what significant other doesn't want to cuddle and comfort their poor, sick boyfriend or girlfriend? As a result, the one who isn't sick is probably going to get sick. Maybe that's what they mean by "share the love."

So, February is certainly interesting, as months go. First, it's the shortest month. Second, it gains a day every four years (if that's not weird, then what is?). Third, everyone garners a cold. Fourth, Valentine's Day happens. I vote that we give February an award for being one of the most aggravating months of the year. Share the love!

 

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No More Excuses The Irish in America February, Drat It I Don't Know How to Put This, But I'm Kind of A Big Deal