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There's been a new medical discovery from the Technical Institute of Advanced Psychology at Oakland. It's called the Engineered Grandiose Outlook Syndrome. I kid you not; sometimes scientists have no idea how to create catchy names. Anyway, this syndrome has been under study for about twenty years and has gathered data on students since they began school and tracked them until they graduate. It's an admittedly small sampling (the TIAP at Oakland is not exactly a heavily-funded organization), but it reveals a very interesting principle. Ready to hear the results? It's crazy. I'll give you a hint.

Homeschoolers have at least six hundred percent more of a chance to have the Engineered Grandiose Outlook syndrome. This is known in psychiatric circles as having an EGO.

I know; it's shocking. The EGO is not something to take lightly, yet many homeschoolers leave high school having contracted this syndrome without even knowing it. Symptoms are hard to pinpoint; often, the victim doesn't even have a clue of their disorder. However, like most psychological conditions, it's nearly impossible to diagnose yourself with it. Usually, it takes a trained professional to identify and bring the hidden symptoms to surface.

Key Symptoms of the EGO:

-Irrational conviction on points that have no relevance to real life
-Irrational conviction on points that have relevance to real life
-Irritability when faced with a differing viewpoint
-Oversized expectations of performance
-Angry and depressed reactions when expectations are not met
-Theological dogmatism on disputable matters with other Christians

Okay, enough with the (mostly failed) tongue-in-cheek. I want to take a serious (sort of) look at a pattern I've seen in homeschoolers and just generally with smart students. I mean, you're a good student, right? Now is not the time for false modesty. Let's face it, the "average" homeschooler receives an education far and away above the average public schooler. So, in short, we tend to suffer a lot more from the EGO Syndrome. We're a pretty smart bunch of kids. We can recite American History better than most elementary History professors. Heck, I'm in college at an academically rigorous university of nearly all homeschoolers and I still know more about parts of history than my history professor. And you know what, he's okay with that. But I digress.

My point, stated simply, is that we're smart kids, and we're proud of that fact. A little too proud, if you want my opinion. I came to a college of students who truly are the best and the brightest of the home schooling movement. I'm not saying my school has cornered the market on Christian higher education, but I am saying that you'd be hard pressed to find a higher median SAT score, IQ level, or work ethic at a lot of other schools. And of course, being properly trained by their parents away from the evils of the public school system, these kids are godly, mature, and humble, right? I mean, their parents raised them. They have to be.

Well, for the most part, absolutely. But you want to know something else? My school has drama. It has gossip; it has breakups and relationships that make the OC look like Dora the Explorer. (Yes, I'm aware many of you don't watch the OC; don't worry, that's what college is for.) And boy oh boy, does it have more than its fair share of EGOS.

So what does this weird combination of school-bashing-praising have to do with the price of eggs? It boils down to two thoughts.

Work like you have to work for everything you get, and then act like God gave you every single one.

The points I want to make:

1) You do have to work for every percentage you get. The workload may be more or less than the others around you, but ultimately, it doesn't matter whether you can do less work than Joe and get a higher grade. Frankly, it doesn't matter what grade you get at all. What matters is diligence. You need to work the hardest you can to accomplish the tasks God set before you. Honestly, I believe if you're not working every moment for God's glory, you're carrying too light of a load. And I don't mean just schoolwork. Geez, that's another thing we homeschoolers fail at. WORK CAN BE FUN, Y'ALL! And I don't mean proving Pascal's Theorems. I mean real fun. Volleyball is amazing, drama is incredible, forensics (for those of you who do debate, this is my favorite) is amazing. The point is, every moment you should be doing something to further God's kingdom. This work can even be hanging out with friends. Here's a question: do your conversations with your friends further God's kingdom? I know that sounds ridiculously trite and evangelical-pastor-cliché, but it's an honest question. Do you think you can honor God in your conversations? I honestly believe you can. So my point: work is a good thing. Just make sure you're doing it diligently and with the right motives--which brings me to point

2) God did give you every single point. I don't care if you are Albert Einstein or Isaac Newton reincarnated. God gave you your brain and your test scores right along with them. You can work your butt off, and you still can't even make a C- (ohmygoshfailure!) without God's help. You remember how I said you need to be working every second for God? God's gonna reward that with results you can't even imagine. And when He does, you gotta act like a mountain of diamonds just fell from the sky into your lap because you blinked. (And stop with that economic analysis about how getting a mountain of diamonds would be worthless if it flooded the market. Disengage for a second.) God rewards hard work, but it's because He delights in it, not because you earned it. Don't expect a 1:1 ratio of work:reward for the nature of the work. If you do the work because you want the glory, I hope you like disappointment. 1:0 ratios aren't my personal favorite, but maybe I'm just weird. But if you do that work for God's glory and then give whatever returns to you to Him again, well, let's just say 1:10,000 is a conservative estimate. (Geez! Conservative isn't being used as an insult; not everything is a liberal conspiracy, you guys.)

I'm rambling, aren't I? In fact, I set out to write this column to see what happened when I started writing a made-up statistic about the proportion of egos to homeschoolers. It turned into a diligence and humility commentary. Wow. Weird.

Take it from an alumnus, you guys. Working your butt off is only good if God gets the benefits of the results. So the next time someone brings up that really annoying Calvinist argument that God totally sent people to hell (hey, it's in the Bible!), take a deep breath and think, "If I'm going to do the work to argue, am I really going to be furthering God's kingdom? And is God going to get the glory? Or am I going to smash their arguments to bits and revel in the destruction?" And the next time you totally ace that Biology exam, stop and think, "Boy, God, thank you so much for keeping those facts in my head during the test. It would have really stunk to have worked that hard and then forgotten. Thanks for giving my work benefits."

So yeah, we're a smart group of kids. But it's all because of a God who cares a lot more than we use our smarts to glorify Him than to squash those peons who have the nerve to disagree with us. It's all because of a God who wants smart people who can take on the really tough task of advancing His kingdom at severe personal cost. And I don't just mean tuition.

Luke 12:48, "Everyone to whom much was given, of him much will be required, and from him to whom they entrusted much, they will demand the more." (ESV)

 

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