“This pickle is going to die for all its crimes against humanity,” said Professor Pike. We were halfway through chemistry class. He pulled out a metal contraption on which he impaled either end of the pickle and attached the whole thing to a mini generator. After dimming the lights, he began to crank the generator. Nothing happened. He cranked faster. The right end of the pickle began to smoke. He cranked faster. The smoking end glowed a bright yellow. He cranked faster. The right end suddenly went out and the left end began to smoke, then lit up bright yellow. Thus, he demonstrated that heating up a pickle is indeed an endothermic reaction. The smell of burning pickle-flesh lingered at the front of the room for the rest of class, and I was sitting in the third row.

Like me, Professor Pike hates pickles and loves chemistry. It’s a satisfying combination. Even though I’ve only spoken to him once or twice (my class has about 170 students), we still share a bond (pun intended) of Pickle Hatred and Chemical Explosions. Speaking of bonds, it is important to build up your network at college. In fact, there is almost nothing more important than networking.

The novelty of college wore off by the end of September. I felt...lost. My network of friends, family, and church that I had built up over so many years were now two and a half hours north. At first, I was overwhelmed by the number of people, policies, and traditions that I didn’t know here at college. Where does one start?

First, gather your resources. I went to the student groups fair where all three-hundred-plus student groups set up booths in the main hall. There was the Vietnamese culture appreciation group, the women’s field hockey team, the dozen-plus a cappella groups, the justice mission group, the "save the children in Africa" group, and the half-dozen Bible studies and Christian groups. There was even a Harry Potter club called "Muggles and Wizards" (or, as I once called it, the "Mumps and Wiggles" group; hey, I was tired, okay?).

I must have signed up for twenty groups’ mailing lists. Needless to say, receiving ten emails a day got more annoying than special pretty quickly. But, that was the way to do it. I concentrated on the bible studies and, after seeing what events they were up to, decided to check out one of them. Now, each time I go, I try to meet at least one new person. If I get to know them a little better, I invite them to lunch, and if we are still friends after that (miracles happen), I invite them to events with me, like walking to CVS. (Hey, such a trip is bursting with adventure; don’t laugh!)

For example, one Monday night, four of my friends invited me to go to Rita’s for ice cream with them. I looked at them like they had three heads each and said, “Sure!” We live on the westernmost part of campus. So, we took the bus that went all the way to east campus, back to west campus, and beyond to Rita’s (some too-lazy-to-walk logic for you there). We bought the ice cream from the vendor and sat in the 27F heat to eat it. My hands were translucent, they were so cold, but my taste buds approved of the passion fruit/mint chocolate chip combination. Then, we went to STAPLES and sniffed glue, bought computer games, and took pictures of us imitating the models on the various posters hanging over the aisles. Upon exiting the store, we noticed the bus driving past our bus stop. We ran across the parking lot waving and screaming but, alas, we missed the bus. After a session of pouting, we decided to hit the thrift store, but it was closed, so we just peeked in the windows. Then, we went to Big Lots, which is like a wanna-be Wal*Mart. After buying a spider web and nearly suffocating in pirate masks, we came out of the store only to notice the bus leaving us behind again. So, we waited the fifteen minutes for the next bus.

It didn’t come. So, we waited two more minutes. Still no bus. Mary suggested that we walk back toward Big Lots and the bus would surely come. We’d gotten about ten feet and, sure enough, there was the bus!…and it turned right onto a street way down the road. We gasped, “What?!” We watched flabbergasted as it disappeared behind STAPLES. Then, it reappeared--our hopes soared--and...it stopped and parked on the other side of the parking lot. After five minutes of watching the bus sit there mocking us, Shannon got sick of waiting and marched across the lot to sweet-talk the driver into taking us home. She succeeded. By the end of that night, I was so worn out from laughing that I was in bed asleep by 1:30 am. How pathetically early for a weeknight…

So, in conclusion... Oh, hmmm, I guess that I don't have one.

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