Heeyyy guys.  Here's just a few jokes, riddles and such about graudation, college, and all that jazz.  Enjoy!

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It was graduation day and Mom was trying to take a picture of their son in a cap and gown, posed with his father.

"I want a good picture, so try to make this look natural," she said. "Junior, put your arm around your dad's shoulder."

The father answered, "If you want it to look natural, why not have him put his hand in my pocket?"

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The Graduate's Prayer

Our professor, who art in tenure,
Hallowed by thy grant.
Thy method come. They experiment be done,
in lab as it is in textbooks.
Give us this day, our daily enzyme.
And forgive us our contamination,
as we forgive our collaborators.
And lead us not into chemistry,
but deliver us from physics:
For thine is the laboratory, and the method,
and the glory, for ever.
Amen.

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Three students, a student from Tennessee, a student from Alabama, and a student from Auburn are out walking together one day. They come across a lantern and a Genie pops out of it.

"I will give you each one wish, that's three wishes total," says the Genie.

The Tennessee student says, "I am a farmer, my dad was a farmer, and my son will also farm. I want the land to be forever fertile in Tennessee."

With a blink of the Genie's eye, "FOOM," the land in Tennessee was forever made fertile for farming.

The Auburn student was amazed, so he said, "I want a wall around the University of Auburn, so that nobody from out of state can come into our precious school."

Again, with the blink of the Genie's eye,"POOF," there was a huge wall around Auburn.

The Alabama student says, "I'm very curious. Please tell me more about this wall."

The Genie explains, "Well, it is about 150 feet high, 50 feet thick and completely surrounds the University of Auburn. Nothing can get in or out."

The Alabama student says, "Fill it with water."

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Tips for Surviving College

* Minimize food budget by scheduling classes around Happy Hour.
* Enjoy being a Sophomore -- It will be the best three years of your life.
* Lemon juice and baking soda make an excellent bong water stain remover.
* Earn extra cash by parlaying chemistry knowledge into lucrative "home pharmaceuticals" business.
* If an 8:00 am class is required for your major, change your major.
* Boring lecture? Start a wave!
* College-level algebra: 5 returnable bottles = 1 delicious Ramen Noodle dinner.
* "I Phelta Thi" is *not* a real fraternity, except at state colleges.
* Clever margin manipulation can turn a 4-page outline into a 100-page senior essay.