“Canada's Ottawa Citizen newspaper recently printed a recipe for Chanterelle Lemon Pasta in its food section, calling for one cup of Chanterelle mushrooms. They even provided a helpful photograph so amateur mushroom hounds could find their own growing in the wild. Unfortunately, the photograph instead showed Destroying Angels, which are deadly when eaten.”
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Jane had a system for labeling homemade freezer meals. She would carefully note in large clear letters, "Meatloaf," "Pot Roast," "Steak and Vegetables," "Chicken and Dumplings," or "Beef Pot Pie."
Everyday, when she asked her husband what he wanted for dinner, he never asked for any of those meals. She decided to stock the freezer with his various requests--what he really liked.
In Jane's freezer, you'll now see a whole new set of labels. You'll find dinners with neat little tags that say: "Whatever," "Anything," "I Don't Know," "I Don't Care," "Something Good," or "Food."
No more frustration for Jane! Because, no matter what her husband replies when she asks him what he wants for dinner, it's there waiting.
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A young man was visiting his brother and sister-in-law for Christmas dinner. As he arrived at their house, he found his young nephew, Mikey, helping them bake some cupcakes.
After they were done, his sister-in-law allowed Mikey to put the icing on. When the boy had finished, he brought them to the table.
"The cupcakes look delicious, Mike," his uncle said. He took a bite and said, "Mikey, these are so good."
As he finished cupcake and took another, he again complimented his little nephew. "The cupcakes look beautiful, Mikey," his uncle said. "How did you get the icing so neat?"
His nephew replied, "It was easy. I just licked them."
The uncle turned pale. He pointed to the plate of cupcakes. "You licked all of these?"
Mikey replied, "Well no. After a while, my tongue got tired, and I got the dog to help."
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A fellow took his girlfriend to a movie. During the previews, she asked him if he would go and buy her some M&Ms.
When he returned with her candy, she opened the bag, picked out all the brown ones and threw them away.
"What did you do that for?" he asked her.
"I'm allergic to chocolate!" she replied.
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“At a diner, I was standing in line to pay my bill behind two women who handed the young waitress a credit card. After swiping the card, she loudly called out to her manager, 'Mr. Allen, what do I do if it says 'reject'?''
As the women's faces reddened and customers turned to look, Mr. Allen, also the cook, calmly walked out from the kitchen. 'Well,' he answered, the first thing you do is shout it out loud enough to embarrass the customer, who might have been thinking about leaving you a tip'.”
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