You are currently in 2-4/Features  

Here are some jokes about driving that I’ve collected. Enjoy!

 

—

 

Q: Why is it good to have a blonde passenger?
A: You can park in the handicapped zone.

 

—

 

One day, a Mechanical Engineer, Electrical Engineer, Chemical Engineer and Computer Engineer were driving down the street in the same car.

 

The car broke down.

 

The Mechanical Engineer said, "I think a rod broke."

 

The Chemical Engineer said, "The way it sputtered at the end, I don't think it's getting gas."

 

The Electrical Engineer said, "I think there was a spark and something is wrong with the electrical system."

 

All three turned to the computer engineer and said, "What do you think?"

 

The Computer Engineer said, "I think we should all get out and get back in."

—

“I pulled into a crowded parking lot and rolled down the car windows to make sure my Labrador retriever had fresh air. She was stretched out on the back seat, and I wanted to impress upon her that she must remain there. I walked to the curb backward, pointing my finger at the car and saying emphatically, ‘Now you stay. Do you hear me? Stay!’

The driver of a nearby car gave me a startled look. ‘I don't know about you, lady,’ he said incredulously. ‘But I usually just put my car in park.’”

 

—

 

After getting her permit, a teenage girl was driving with her mother when they came to an intersection. “Which way do I turn?” she asked.

“Left”, her mother replied.

“Are you sure?” she began arguing. After some debate, the daughter finally admitted she was wrong.
“So I should turn left?” she asked to make sure.

“Right.”

 

—

 

A Police car pulled alongside a speeding car on the motorway.

Glancing at the car he was astonished to see that the blond behind the wheel was knitting!

Realizing that she was oblivious to his flashing lights and siren, the cop rolled down his window and shouted "Pullover!"

The blonde rolled down her window and yelled back "No, it's a scarf!"

—

An elderly lady did her shopping and upon return found 4 males in her car. She dropped her shopping bags and drew her handgun, proceeding to scream at them at the top of her lungs that she "knows how to use it and will shoot if required.... so get out of MY car!"

The 4 men didn't wait around for a second invitation. They got out and ran like mad, where upon the lady proceeded to load her shopping bags into the back of the car and got into the drivers seat.

Small problem: Her key wouldn't fit the ignition. Her car was identical and parked four or five spaces further down.

She loaded her bags into her car and drove to the police station. The sergeant that she told the story to nearly tore himself in two with laughter and pointed to the other end of the counter where 4 pale white males were reporting a carjacking by a mad, elderly, white woman...... No charges were filed.

 

Print       E-mail      

Driving Experiences The Importance of Awareness on the Road Some Hearts March of the Penguins